The third part of a story, but don't worry, all you need to know is that Callie is a girl who was raised by wolves, who was brought back to the Mansion by Logan, and that Tabitha Smith (Meltdown) is, in my warped version of the Movieverse, another student.
URL: http://www.angelfire.com/mn2/AlexSisterWolf/xmenindex.html
Rating: R
Disclaimer: All characters belonging to Marvel Comics are used without
permission, but with no intent of copyright infringement, and no profit
is being gained from this work.
Warnings: Violence, female/female slash, disturbing themes including child
abuse and rape.
Another Stray, part 3
Callie shifted restlessly in the bed. It didn't feel right to be lying alone, no warm body resting against her. She'd never slept alone, not really. When she was young, Mamma had slept curled around her. Even when she grew older and Mamma had younger cubs to take care of, she'd still been able to curl up with the rest of the young wolves in the pack to sleep. At the cabin, Logan and she had shared a bed. The only time she'd ever really slept alone was in the horrible days after her pack had been slaughtered.
The thought of those days brought a whine to the back of her throat. She wanted someone to hold her, someone to talk with.
Callie lay still and listened for a moment. She could tell by the long, slow rhythm of their breathing that Jubilee, Betsy and Kitty were all asleep.
She eased out of bed and moved silently to the door. She carefully turned the doorknob (she'd picked up that skill while on the road with Logan, and was still rather proud of it), and slipped out into the hall.
She followed Logan's faint scent trail from the head of the stairs to a bedroom door at the end of the hall. She could hear the faint murmur of voices from the room: Logan and a young female's.
"Ah was afraid you were never comin' back," the soft voice said.
"I just needed some time," Logan's deep voice answered.
"Ah kept your tags safe."
"Thanks, kid."
Callie heard the rustling of the bed and could easily picture the scene inside. The girl curled up next to Logan, just as _she_, Callie should be. His arms around her, as she soaked up the comfort that should be Callie's.
The murmur of voices continued behind her as she padded silently back down the hall. Hot tears burned in her eyes, and a hollow ache settled behind her chest. Logan was not hers. Logan had probably never been hers.
***
"Ah'm not a kid, Logan."
"That's what I'm scared of, Marie."
"Ah scare ya?"
"You have no idea how much."
"Ah kinda like the sound of that."
***
Callie headed downstairs. She needed to get outside, to run and run until she was too exhausted to move. The walls of this human place were too close. She couldn't breathe.
As she passed one of the dark doorways on the first floor, she smelled one of the girls she'd met earlier that night. Tabitha, but mixed with her scent was that of salt and blood.
Callie slipped into the room, easily spotting Tabitha in the dim light. She was hunched over herself as if in pain, sitting on a couch by the window. Callie moved closer, and saw thin streaks of darkness covering Tabitha's forearms. The girl's hand moved, and Callie saw a glint of metal.
"Tabitha?"
The girl started violently and gasped. "What?" she demanded, turning away to hide the blood on her arms.
"Why're you hurting yourself?"
"I'm not doing anything. Go away."
"You're bleeding."
"Leave me alone."
Callie moved around to face Tabitha. She lifted up a hand and traced it along her cheek. "Your eyes're watering. Why're you sad?"
"I. I'm not." Tabitha's voice broke.
Callie lifted up Tabitha's left arm. All along it were thin tracks of blood, seeping from shallow wounds.
The instincts of a life among wolves filled Callie. Here was a packmate, wounded. She knelt and gently began to lick the wounds clean of blood.
Tabitha gasped quietly and froze in place. If this had been the professor or Jean, she would have given up the razor and submitted to another session of therapy. Anyone else, she would have driven from her with angry words. But this strange wolf-girl had bypassed all her defenses, all the ways she kept others from getting too close to her.
Callie methodically cleaned the wounds of blood, wondering what could have driven Tabitha to wounding herself. She could feel the tension in the girl's muscles slowly unclenching.
"You don't have to," Tabitha whispered.
Callie looked up at her, seeing the tear tracks shining on her face. "Want to." She turned Tabitha's arm over and saw the silvery track of old an old scar, in among the dark trails of blood. The scar ran directly over the vein, from wrist to elbow. She gently traced it. "This shoulda killed ya."
Tabitha laughed harshly. "Should have, yeah."
"Why?" Callie asked, looking up into her eyes.
Tabitha shook her head. Callie nodded and lifted her wrist, tracing her tongue along the trails of blood.
Tabitha gasped and shivered a little. Callie smelled a sudden surge of musk on her scent. She raised her head and gave Tabitha a querying look.
Tabitha tugged back on her hand, flushing. "I'm not. I don't want you to think that I'm. I'm not a lesbian."
Callie held onto her hand. "What's a lesbian?"
"It's a woman who, you know, umm. has sex with other women. I'm not like that." Tabitha was sure she was blushing bright red.
"What does that have ta do with this? I want ta comfort ya." Callie resumed licking Tabitha's wrist.
"Yeah, but you're. I mean, I'm. It's not exactly comforting, okay?"
Callie gave her the same look that Mamma always gave her when she was being stupid. "They have ta be cleaned, or else they'll get infected."
"I'll use some hydrogen peroxide or something, okay? Just stop."
Callie sighed and stopped, but kept her hold on Tabitha's hand. "Why do you hurt yourself?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Tell me," she whispered, cupping her hand on the other girl's tear-streaked cheek.
Tabitha gazed down into Callie's dark eyes. Hesitantly, she began, "My dad, he used to. I can't talk about this."
"Tell me."
"My dad, he used to. I have scar tissue inside, you know. I probably can't ever have kids. Because my dad. I've done the whole therapy thing, Callie. They tell me this is pretty common in survivors, you know, cutting, self-mutilation, stuff like that. Suicide attempts. I cut my wrists, just like you're supposed to, lengthwise, over the vein. but it wasn't enough. Oh, god, I can't talk about this, I can't."
"Tell me."
"He used to. he used to." Tabitha slid off the chair and down to the floor, sobbing. Callie gently drew her into her arms and smoothed a hand over her hair, rocking her slowly as the sobs wrenched Tabitha's skinny shoulders.
"I hate him. I hate him.," Tabitha sobbed. "I. I hate. hate."
Callie rested her chin on top of the other girl's short blonde hair, rubbing her back, feeling the sobs rip through her.
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she thought of Mamma. Mamma would know how to take the pain away. Mamma would know what to say to this girl who hurt so much. "I miss you, Mamma," she whispered, cradling Tabitha in her arms.
Tabitha's sobs quieted eventually, and she sagged in Callie's arms, her breathing thick and ragged. She unclenched her hands from Callie's sweatshirt after a few minutes and sat up, running her hands over her face. "I must look horrible."
Callie simply sat and waited for her to get her composure back. At last, Tabitha turned back to her, face red and puffy from tears. "I'm still not a lesbian, you know."
Callie shook her head. "What does that have ta do with anything?"
Tabitha laughed, but the laugh turned more into a sob. Callie held her again as the tears arose again, and then subsided.
"Let's go outside," Callie urged.
Tabitha shrugged wearily. "Sure, why not?"
***
The grass was cool on their backs as they lay looking up at the stars. Tabitha shivered.
"Come here," Callie said. Tabitha rolled on her side and rested her head on Callie's shoulder. Callie wrapped her arm around Tabitha's waist and felt the other girl stiffen, then relax.
"I'm still not a lesbian." Tabitha's voice was muffled in her shoulder.
Callie smiled and looked up at the stars. "'S okay," she whispered.
There was silence for a few minutes, and then Tabitha's voice, sounding a little more like her usual self. "Besides, I thought you were into Logan."
"He's with Rogue."
"Oh."
"He doesn't need me."
"I'm sorry."
"'S okay. I just kinda. he took care of me, after my pack was killed. He and I were. we were pack. I thought he was gonna be my mate. Stupid."
"No, no, you're not stupid, it's okay." Tabitha took Callie's face in her hands. "You're not stupid. Don't say that."
"I'm just an animal. I should go back ta the woods. I don't belong here."
"No, no, shhh, you're not an animal." Tabitha rested her forehead against Callie's, whispering to her.
"Yeah, I am. I don't understand anythin'."
Tabitha stopped her words by kissing her.
A few minutes later, Tabitha lifted her lips from Callie's and looked down at her. "I'm still not a lesbian."
"Okay," Callie said, and kissed her again.