Penance

by Indiana_J

Jean Grey-Summers had been looking for a long time now.  Long enough to have given up hope of ever finding anyone but not long enough to have stopped psi-scanning the surrounding area at least three times a day.  It was habit…a subconscious effort to keep her sane in an insane world.

Not that it helped much.

Oh, she had -found- people before.  The world might have gone to hell in a hand basket with the start of the shifts, but it wasn't so far gone that she never saw anyone.  But she never found -her- people.  -Her- family.

She had found a Colossus. . .was it a year ago?  Maybe it had only been a month ago. . .Shaking her head, Jean walked down yet another empty street of a New York City, stepping over twisted metal and steel.  The world lay dead around her, filled with nothing but silence and waste.  She wandered, remembering the hopeful look in his eyes.  But they weren't each other's to keep.  By way of a shift they had gone their separate ways. . . a shift that had suddenly placed Jean somewhere in the middle of Tokyo.

Quietly walking from shadow to shadow, her hand strayed to her neck, and briefly caressed the wedding band that hung around her neck.  What appeared to be a silver chain kept it in place, glinting softly in the dull, winter sunlight.  He was the only one she didn't need to search for day in and day out.  He was the only one that she knew she would never turn a corner and see.

One tended to give up hope of ever seeing a loved one again after opening their eyes and seeing their husband with his head embedded in a tree.

Before her mind could fully drift back to that day and the first of many horrors to befall her, her psi-scan literally stumbled over a psi-signature.  It shocked her out of her revere so badly she missed a step and stumbled to her knees.

Concentrating, she sought it out again, frantically, desperately, forgetting skill and going for power. Ignoring the blood on her scraped hands and knees, she sought out the all too familiar signature, soon leaving the corner she had been on and running wildly through the empty streets.

The person stayed in one spot…near an old hotel in the middle of the city.  Slowing her pace to a quick jog, she cast her eyes around.  She knew this part of the city, knew it well.  The original five used to shop here, and they had made it a habit of trying to make it out here at least once a month in the old days.  It had even continued with the expansion of the team, though the visits had grown farther and farther apart, until it had become a once a year trip.  If then.

A rare smile…so rare that it made her face hurt…appeared when she saw the old lamppost that Hank had used to swing on was still standing.  It made her smile even though she noticed it was still standing on something that appeared to be a mix between flesh and stone.  If she had taken the time to look closer, she would have seen the familiar face of Ben Grimm peering up at her…

She found the person she was looking for not more than a few feet away from the hotel.  A short, slim figure with chopped up black hair and wearing shreds of a dirtied yellow jacket stood with her back to Jean, head tilted back to the sky.

Opening her mouth, Jean grimaced as nothing came out. It had been so long since she had talked.  In the beginning…she had babbled endlessly to keep herself calm.  In the end…she had grown sick of her own voice. She hadn't talked in so long…she had nearly forgotten how.

Trying one more, she managed to get a small "Jubilee?" out.  The figure in front of her stood still, not turning, not acknowledging she was there.  Frowning, she stepped closer.  This -was- her Jubilee.  The psi-pattern was the same…the brief blip of memories matched what she knew…

"Jubilee?"

"Hello, Jean."

The voice was dead…lifeless…

Shuddering, Jean took another baby step closer, fists clenched with anticipation.  No matter what the girl in front of her had gone through…she was -hers-.  Too long had she gone without a familiar face…a familiar body…next to hers.  Reaching a hand out, she gently placed it on Jubilee's shoulder.

"Been a while, Jeannie," the other remarked, still not turning around.

"Yes…yes it has."

Tears welled up in the older woman's eyes.  This wasn't what she had envisioned.  This wasn't the dream that kept her alive and semi-sane during this hell. Hugs…happy tears…relief…

Not this.

She had experienced cold and death from others.  She didn't need it from her own.  She needed…

Jean blinked as Jubilee moved, her hand dropping away. She watched as the other started to turn slowly, a smile forming on her face.  Maybe, she thought desperately, maybe everything -would- work out.  Maybe this would be what she had been searching for all time.  And maybe things wou…

"Oh my God!"

It was little more than a horrified whisper, dripped out of lips that belong to a person who thought she had seen everything.  Out of reflex, or for want of comfort, her hand shot to the wedding ring around her neck and held on tight.  Her eyes were filled with the vision of Jubilee…

A ruby visor hung around her neck, what was looked like rotting flesh was draped over one shoulder.  Jean flinched when she saw that someone's elegant reading glasses were impaled through her left hand.  Various parts of various X-Men's uniforms, and sometimes more, clung, or were impaled, melded, even, on Jubilee.

Jubilee turned slightly, almost showing off.  "You like?  You know what some of these are from."

"What…what…I…"

"Don't understand, Jeannie?" Jubilee asked, smiling a bitter smile.  "Oh, but I'm sure you understand perfectly."

"I…no…-no- I don't!  It wasn't suppose to be like this!" she wailed, backing up.  Backing away from the thing she had sought for so long…the idea, the dream…was twisted now.  Dying.  "You're…mad…"

"Aren't we all a little mad in this place?  Isn't that part of our penance?"  Smiling crookedly, Jubilee played with the earpiece of the glasses impaled through her hand.  Jean shuddered at the crazed expression in her eyes and nearly turned away.

"P-penance?  What penance?"

"…For such a smart telepath…you're being an awfully dumb fuck right now."

Jubilee watched with a sense of detached amusement as the words halted Jean's backwards progress, and for a moment, for -one- small instance she saw life, fire, passion, and anger shown in her eyes but then that moment was gone.  Life replaced by simple acceptance, fire replaced by self-imposed ice, passion replaced by apathy, anger replaced by shocking docility.  Shaking her head, she continued on.

"Remember that story I had to read for class that one time?  'Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner' by…"

"Coleridge," Jean filled in.

"Yeah, that guy…remember the sailor?  Remember what -his- penance was?  He had to wear the albatross around his neck.  He killed a bird…look at what we killed…"  Her voice softened to a near whisper and she smiled, a demented smile that reached her eyes and made them sparkle with some inane glow.

Staring at Jubilee, Jean tried to work that over in her mind.  "But you…never…"

"Oh, not -me- personally," she answered, rocking back on her heels slowly.  "I never laid a hand on our friends…but I'm doing penance for us all, Jean."

Jean swallowed dryly and refused to meet the other's eyes.

Jubilee swayed closer, her body brushing against Jean's, who recoiled in horror.  "That's right…fear what you might have been…fear what you -are-.  We might have been able to stop this…"

"Stop…what?" she croaked out.

"This!  This hell!  The shifts!"

"How?  Tell me -how- Jubilee!  Do you even know how, or when, or why they started?"  Jean felt anger, real emotion, begin to stir slowly within for the first time in years.

"No…but we could have tried," the younger woman spat out.

"Who says we didn't?" The question hung heavily between them, both weighing the possible answers, neither knowing what the exact answer was.

"Someone does…or I wouldn't be doing this would I?" Jubilee asked quietly.

Jubilee stepped in closer, and slid a hand up Jean's stomach and between her breasts.  Jean's breath caught in her throat.  Closing a hand around the wedding ring and chain, she yanked the telepath closer to her and smiled, a smile tinged with madness.  "And you wouldn't be wearing this…your wedding ring…on a melted, warped piece of adamantium," she purred softly.  "We've all got our own penance to carry, Jean, you just haven't realized you've been carrying yours."

Opening her mouth, she meant to deny it, she meant to tell Jubilee that she was well past insanity, but she only had the opportunity to gasp as a shift hit them hard and fast.  Even Jubilee was caught off guard, and closed her eyes.

Cautiously opening them again…she hissed in pain, a pain she knew far too well.  Jean's ring, and the necklace, had been welded to her hand.  The end bits of the tainted metal dangled freely in the air.

She suddenly realized Jean wasn't there anymore.  Here being somewhere in the middle of some prairie, filled with dead, or dieing, plants and animal life.  The stench nearly made her gag, and she shuddered.

Jubilee took a small step in some random direction, hoping it was north.  North…held a strange fascination for her.  She never knew why…didn't want to know why…much like she didn't want to know why she had been picked for the Penance…

As her left foot stepped down, she heard a light squishing sound, and felt something give way beneath her foot.  Crouching, she moved the black grass, reached down…and lifted up a mass of white liquid…gel like, nearly.  She rolled the rubber mass around with her free hand for a bit, gently playing with it for a few minutes.  Sighing quietly, she reached back down and picked up its pair.

Staring into the green eye, she muttered, "Well, I guess it's just you and me, Jeannie."

End.

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