Tolerance: Part Two

by Denise Keppel

It had become a habit, Sam realized several nights later. After supper, after homework, he and Doug and Rahne would sit up late watching television. She wouldn't go upstairs until after she knew for a fact that Dani was in bed. And then, she'd be the first one to wake up in the morning. He'd even found her sleeping on the couch in the middle of the night more than once. It had been more than a week, and the three women still weren't talking. It seemed like it fell to him as 'peace chief' to try to help the three sort out matters.

Knowing Rahne still refused to talk about whatever was bothering her, he waited until she had gone for a run before approaching Dani, who he knew would be more rational and willing to work out a solution. But this time, she flatly refused to talk about whatever the three of them were fighting about. "It's personal," was all that she would offer.

"It's affecting the team," Sam tried to point out. "If you three were talking, then we would have won the danger room exercise today." Instead, just about everybody's muscles were sore from the pounding the program gave them.

"Four of us... she's also upset at Berto." Dani pointed out. "And if she wants to keep a grudge that endangers the team, I think she should." For the past couple of nights, Dani had stayed up late, trying to talk to her friend but Rahne either managed to avoid her or didn't want to talk. "Or if she feels she'll be more comfortable on Muir Island, she should go there..." Frankly, if it didn't hurt so much, Dani would be past the point of caring. Right now, however, Dani was just tired of reaching out to her friend.

"You'd rather her go away than deal with whatever?" he asked stunned.

"No, I want her to want to deal with it or leave..." It was a semantic difference but a valid one. Either Rahne would have to learn to tolerate that two of the New Mutants were bisexual and sleeping together or she would have to leave, for the good of the team. Right now, Sam was right. Her difficulty adjusting to what she had discovered had caused the New Mutants to lose a simulated fight and, as war chief, Dani wasn't willing to allow her team to lose because one member didn't know how to relate to two others.

The few times that Rahne had spoken to Dani it had been to quote Bible verses at her, mindlessly parroting the hate that Reverend Craig had instilled in her. Dani wasn't going to stop being who she was because of a few words written by men who had long since turned to dust, and Amara had started to feel that maybe her people had had the right idea by feeding Christians to the lions. It would hurt Dani on a level she didn't want to think about if Rahne left, however, it might be the best thing for the team as a whole.

"She's your friend," he pointed out.

Growing up on the ranch, Dani hadn't had many friends. The few hired hands her parents could afford were single men. And while she had some friends at school, they only met at school and the grocery store, living on other ranches themselves. She'd also spent several years living with her grandfather, with very little social interaction. "Or was, depending on what she wants..." In the distance, she heard the phone ring.

"Come on..." Sam said, trying to work out a compromise. "What could be so bad that you two just stopped being friends?"

"That's private," she said, trying to keep her business her business. And if Rahne took it badly, what would a stereotypical country boy think if he knew that she swung both ways?

From the doorway, Berto's eyes went back and forth like an observer at a tennis match as he watched Dani and Sam trying to talk. From the tense set of Dani's jaw, he knew that the other man would never get the truth out of her. And from the determined stance Sam was using, he wouldn't go anywhere until he knew the truth. Finally, Berto found his tongue. "Are you ready for that ride you promised me?" he asked Dani, using the first plausible excuse that came to mind.

She shot him a wry smile, catching the accidental double entendre before latching onto his offer. "We do need to exercise the horses," she agreed as she stood up. "Let me go get my boots on and we'll go for a ride." She quickly exited the room, grateful for his intervention.

Sam made a motion to follow her, not ready to give up the fight. Berto grabbed his arm and looked him in the eye, "Stay."

"Rahne's upset about something," Sam said as he jerked his arm away from his friend. "And it's making her miserable."

Berto rolled his eyes. "Rahne has a lot of growing up to do," he said contemptuously. "And she doesn't need you rushing in to fix everything for her."

"She's also not talking to Dani, Amara or you," Sam pointed out as he took a quick step to the left. Berto casually moved in the same direction. "That's trouble for all of us."

"And if you haven't noticed, she's got Doug to take up for her. She doesn't need you running interference." Something in Sam's face told the younger man that he hadn't seen the relationship between Doug and Rahne building. He added a little gentler, "Some things you have to let people work out on their own. I'm afraid this is one of them."

"I'm a big brother. It's what I do," the blond man objected.

"Yeah right...." Berto muttered as he rolled his eyes, knowing that Sam wasn't the type to give up until and unless he had worked out a compromise between the three women. And until the four of them knew what they wanted to happen, and if Rahne could deal with being on a team with two women who liked women, and if Dani and Amara wanted others to know, there was no chance for a real compromise.

He paused, and quickly figured out how to make Sam leave the room and give him and Dani a chance to talk about what they wanted to do. "And you wonder how you encourage Rahne's crush on you... I'd even bet deep down, she doesn't have your permission to move onto Doug, does she? Not when you can stand up for her. Rahne latches onto men who can make things right for her."

Most people thought of Berto as an arrogant and rash boy, barely capable of breathing on his own. What they forgot was that he grew up learning to defend his status in society by reading a person's motives and figuring out how to turn it against them. It was too easy to do that to his best friend, who wasn't used to people manipulating him. Holding his tongue, he read Sam's face and knew he had inflicted enough damage that he wouldn't be following Dani and him out riding. Yet, he saw the hurt in Sam's face, and realized he had hit below the belt there. "I'm sorry..." he started, "There had be a better way to say that."

"Yes." Sam snapped, and then paused. "You really think muh takin' up for Rahne encourages her crush on me?" The country boy had felt a real need to be a big brother to somebody when he first joined the New Mutants, and Rahne had best fit the roll. However, complicating the situation was the fact that Rahne also fit the mold of what Sam had been raised to look for in a future spouse. He stood up for her and defended her, not really sure sometimes the reasons that he did it.

Berto nodded, "I do." Lowering his voice, he added, "Rahne's been emotionally damaged by her foster father.... It's going to take some time for her to learn how to really relate to others. And I think this whole situation is one of those times."

"You know what-stupid question," Sam said, "Dani pretty much said that you were involved."

"I was," Berto acknowledged. "That's why I'm saying back off... let me and Dani and Amara handle things, okay?"

Sam reluctantly nodded. "If that's what ya think is best..."

"It is." And then, he smiled slightly. "Anyway, what I came down to tell you was that Lila called. She left a number where you can reach her." He pressed the slip of paper into Sam's hand as he saw Dani slip out the back.

He had to run to catch up with her as she strolled briskly across the field. The third time he called out to her, she turned around. "Thank you," she hissed when he was standing next to her. Berto shrugged. "I never asked..." she continued, "Why do you...." Words failed her as she got the tack out.

"Not care?" He filled in as he led a horse to the front of the barn. Dani nodded as she threw the saddle over the horse. "I get to join in sometimes," he pointed out.

Dani picked up a strand of hay and threw it at him, laughing slightly. "Truth?" he asked as he exhaled, knowing he had succeeded in making her feel better. "I just... after Juliana, I think if you can find love, you should treasure it." His face grew soft as he remembered his first love.

Dani had saddled the two horses in her hurry to get away from the mansion. "I wish Rahne would..." she frowned. "I never meant for her to find out. Even if I was keeping a secret from her, she was still my friend, you know?"

"To be fair, she did find out about it the worse possible way," Berto pointed out. "I can understand...."

Dani nodded. "I know how she was brought up. I really..." she frowned as she mentally finished her sentence. "I can understand why she's freaking... I wish I couldn't but I can..." she said as she shook her head. Reaching into her front pocket, she pulled out one of her contraband cigarettes from the shirt. She smiled as she looked at the flannel top. "It doesn't help matters that I look and act like a stereotypical butch, does it?"

He laid a supportive hand on her arm. "What will you do if she doesn't come around?" he asked gently. "She may never be able to accept that you're bisexual."

She frowned as she rolled the cigarette around in her hands. "I really... really don't know. My parents don't know I'm a mutant, much less that I'm ... me." She slipped it back in her pocket, deciding not to waste her cigarette at that moment. "Maybe," she continued with a hint of humor, "I can come out of the closet all at once. Two for one and all that."

Berto laughed at the joke. "You could always just tell the people here."

All semblance of good humor left Dani's face as she shook her head. "Not as long as Xavier's around, no."

"What did he do to you?" Berto asked as he mounted his horse. "You've always been so down on him."

She followed his lead and climbed on her horse. "Not always... just after he_" she sighed and decided to finish her sentence. "I feel like he mind-raped me, okay?"

"What!" Berto exhaled. "What do you mean mind-raped? And why is he still here?"

"Back during the Micronauts a couple of months ago, his dark side.... It-" Dani sighed and forced herself to go on. "It used my orgasms to control me, okay? I didn't want it to happen but it did," she spat out, then continued. "All he said when he was in control was that it was his dark side, that normally he wouldn't do things like that."

"Rubbish!" Berto answered succinctly. "That was wrong. Why didn't you tell anybody?"

She shrugged and gathered her reins. "Who would believe me?" she asked bitterly. "And what would happen if someone did?"

"I believe you." His honest answer touched her. Evidently, there was much more to the man standing before her than what she had previously given him credit for. She smiled at him, surprised to discover how much she trusted him.

"Maybe," she said as she toyed with the reigns, "I don't want... If I told, what would happen to us? To the X-Men?"

"I don't know..." he answered her question. "The New Mutants would ... Amara and I would end up at the Hellfire Club place... you would go back home... Rahne would go to Muir. Sam would go back to the mines..." He paused as tried to picture the X-Men's reactions. "Peter would take Illyana somewhere safe, Logan would make sure Kitty was safe.... but besides that I don't know."

"I believe in what the X-Men are trying to do," Dani whispered, trying to figure out for the umpteenth million time how much of what she believed in was implanted by Xavier and how much was the truth. "And it would tear them apart... then who would stand up for mutant rights?" She shook her head. "And I don't want to go home. If I did, who would make sure that Xavier never does this again?"

"David Haller." Berto pointed out. "He's taken advantage of the trust that people have put in him before..." It was impossible to keep a secret with the X-Men.

"That's not a big deal," Dani said as she shook her head. "If it was, wouldn't Moira have pulled Rahne out of the school, made some attempt to protect her if she thought he'd do something like that again?"

"He has." Berto stubbornly pointed out.

"It's not the same thing," she said as her horse started to prance. "I mean, I know what my head tells me, but my heart..." she sighed. "All I know is what I don't know, you know?" she whispered and smiled slightly. "I never meant for Rahne to find out about me... I don't want Sam or Xavier or anybody else to know until I'm ready to tell them..."

Berto nodded. "Sounds like a problem," he agreed. "There is one thing I want to know though... you've always been very," he frowned, knowing that the word he used could set off the other woman. "Affectionate towards on Rahne."

Dani nodded. "She's like the little sister I never had," she explained, using the reason she gave herself most of the time. " I don't want to hurt her... but I think I've lost her. And that hurts."

"Maybe she'll come around."

"Maybe."

Berto waited for a second, and then added, "I'm going to tell Sam that Rahne walked in on the three of us."

"And he won't ask questions?" Dani asked, alarmed.

"He's a man." Berto snorted. "I slept with two women. He's going to be thinking that I'm a lucky devil, not that the two of you are lovers." He smiled confidently. "Once he knows a little of the truth, he won't be pressing you for answers."

"And what will he say to Rahne?" Dani said as she started to mentally play with the possibilities. "I mean, when Amara suggested it, it seemed like a good idea at the time... but I didn't think anyone would find out, and it was fun... Stupid to use my room, though. I can't believe I didn't think about that. And if Rahne even mentions the location, Sam will freak... "

"Unless Rahne says anything to him, he won't say anything to her." The country man was very tightlipped about sex, believing in the principle that a gentleman never talked. For months now, Berto had been trying to figure out if Sam and Lila had finally slept together. And if he could keep something like that from his best friend, then he wouldn't try to dig more details from Rahne.

They rode off, never having seeing the russet wolf hidden in the barn. Rahne shifted back to her human form and sat back on the pile of hay. She had never meant to start eavesdropping, but when she started, it was nearly impossible to stop. On one hand, it was nice to hear from Dani that she wasn't interested in Rahne in that way... however, it gave her a lot to think about.

It was odd for the young woman to realize, but her attitude was hurting her friend. And it felt odder for her to realize that Dani, despite who she was sleeping with, was still her friend. But she literally didn't know how to cope with discovering this side of her friend. Sure, they came from two different worlds, two different belief systems, and were fundamentally two different people, but they had managed to find common ground. This however? Having sex with people of the same gender got Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed. The Bible had several verses about homosexuality being wrong.

She didn't want to lose Dani as a friend, not deep down. She just didn't know how to relate to her anymore. More than that, she didn't know if she could be her friend and be a Christian at the same time.

**

Five minutes into the evening service at the community church in Salem Center, and Sam was ready to scream, wiggle or do anything he had to keep awake. The special speaker was so boring that he had to start pinching himself after ten minutes. About fifteen minutes later, Rahne's elbow came into firm contact with his ribs. "Ye snore," she explained as Sam jumped.

"Do not," he automatically whispered back. When the woman next to Rahne nodded, he blushed. "Must be the way Ah'm sleeping," he tried to defend himself.

"Or the fact ye're asleep," Rahne shot back.

Sam shrugged and tried to focus his attention on the preacher in front of him. It was harder to do than expected, mostly because the soft, dreary tone of voice the man was using to talk about sin. Whoever this man was, he was more of a fundamentalist than the people that Sam had grown up with. By the time the minister had finished his attack on rock and roll, Sam was torn between wanting to see the man blushingly attack the sinful desires of youth, or whatever phrase he had for lust, and the desire to jump head first out of the stained glass window.

He looked over at Rahne's pinched, drawn face and realized that this man's sermon must seem a lot like the thousands she had heard from Reverend Craig. "You want to slip out?" he whispered.

Rahne smiled slightly and agreed. "A really want tae make a MickeyD run," she whispered back. Sam sighed, knowing that the fast food chain was selling Disneyland figurines, but nodded. It would be nice to spend some downtime with the younger woman, especially considering how tense she had been in the past couple of days. Then again, he had to imagine that seeing three of his teammates having sex in his room would be enough to upset him.

He casually slipped out of the pew and made his way back down the aisle to the bathrooms. A few minutes after that, Rahne joined him, smiling. "He was..." she sighed as she tried to explain.

"Bad?" Sam asked, trying his best not to run as they made their way to the car.

"Talking about homosexuals," Rahne whispered softly. "He says that every homosexual is doomed to hell, that it's the worst sin that a person can commit...." She nodded as Sam opened the car door for her.

Sam quickly ran to his side, afraid of being spotted by one of the deacons or the youth minister. "There is no sin that is worse than any other one, except denying the Holy Spirit," he said as he started the car.

"There isn't?" Rahne asked, amazed at the concept.

"Think about it," he said as he made a left turn out of the parking lot. "If we believe that Christ died for our sins, then he died for homosexuals too... and if my sin of lying caused Him to die on the cross, and I believe that He would have died for no one but me, which I do, then what somebody else does doesn't matter does it? Christ died for me and everybody else who wants to accept him."

"Ye have strong feeling about that don't ye?" she asked softly.

"Sure..." Sam said as he sighed. "Our preacher back home... he had lived a life before coming to the Lord."

"Don't we all?" she asked, surprised.

"Not everybody's life includes murdering somebody while high on drugs," he explained. "He went to jail, he paid the legal price. And he accepted Christ... and if God can forgive him, just like Ah believe God has forgiven me, then how can Ah judge him?"

On her good days, deep down, Rahne could admit to herself that she was somewhat... intolerant when things weren't what she thought they should be. She had been afraid of Kurt for months, seeing only the demon face on the outside and the church he went to, and didn't allow herself to see the heart that loved Jesus. And that judgementalism hurt people deeply. And it was a sin. "Ye still sin?" she asked Sam.

He was grateful for the darkness as he felt the hot tinge of embarrassment spread across his face. Rahne had no idea how far he had gone with Lila. And while he hadn't had intercourse, what they were doing was definitely not done in a spirit of purity. "Yes," he admitted.

Rahne nodded, and tried to figure out what to say next. "What... what do ye think of homosexuals... or bisexuals?" she asked carefully, hoping Sam didn't make too much of her tagging on the last bit.

He shrugged, grateful for the change in topic. "Ah've never met ... one of them," he said confidently. "But Ah reckon they are no more sinning than someone..." he paused, surprised by what he was thinking. "No more sinning than a man sleeping with a woman without being married." Frowning, he wondered if they would still be seen as quite as scandalous if it was possible for gays to get married.

She frowned as she thought about that. "It's jist... sae hard tae think about aboot... sae unnaturally too." She thought about Doug and wondered if Dani felt the same way about Amara or Berto.

"Maybe," he offered. "The one thing Ah've discovered since leaving' Kentucky is that the world isn't as simple as Ah thought it was. I mean, dreaming about aliens and vampires and ghosts are one thing... but admitting they exist, that's another."

Rahne pressed her fist to her chin and thought about what he said.

[next part]

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