Hard Day At The Office.

by Poi Lass

9:00 AM

"Marie? Could you send in my first appointment please?"

"I'm sorry Doctor, he hasn't come. He called and said he'd decided to invade Atlantis after all. He said he had a vision about it."

"Damn. I thought we were making such progress too... ah well. Tell me when the next arrives."

"Yes Doctor."

"Thank you Marie."

10:35 AM

"...and - I guess you already know what happened then..."

"I'd like to hear it in your words."

"Well... I just got so angry, you know? I couldn't control myself. So I... lost it. Like, completely. Blew up most of Wall Street."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Well, to be honest... I know I'm supposed to feel bad about it, but sometimes it seems like I did more good than harm, you know?"

11:46 AM

"S-so it j-just came to me. Th-that m-maybe it wasn't all my f-f-ault. M-maybe if my f-f-f-f-fath-ther... hadn't b-brainwashed me and l-locked me in th-that robot suit for most of my f-formative years, I wouldn't have even tried t-to t-turn Wyoming into an inter-dimensional p-portal to Hell... or... d-do you th-think I'm blaming him for t-too much?"

"... No."

1:03 PM

"Yvette, why don't you take a seat? It's nice to see you again."

....

"How are you feeling?"

....

"Would you like to talk about your brother today?"

....

"We don't have to talk about that, if you'd rather not... why don't we just chat a little?"

....

"Yvette, please... that chair is leather..."

2:51 PM

"But I'm just so confused Doc... I mean, I really love her, you know? I love her, totally, but - sometimes it just feels wrong. Do you think it's wrong?"

"I don't think it's illegal..."

"Isn't it? I mean.. it is incest... sort of... I just can't stop thinking about the fact that, you know, part of her is my brother. Or could've been. Used to be. Sort of. Isn't that illegal?"

"Incest became illegal, I believe, because of fears about inbreeding more than anything else... which I suspect isn't really a problem here... I mean, her body isn't actually related to you, is it?"

"...Yes it is."

"Oh. I thought..."

"No, see - it's the mind that isn't really related to me. Mostly. I explained all this just before."

"If you could just... clarify for me?"

"She's, you know, a psionic alien entity. And she's kind of, inhabiting the body of my brother - not my real brother, my brother from an alternate timeline - who shapeshifted into a woman and then -"

"Lost his powers, leaving him stuck as a female, yes, of-course. I'm sorry, I got a little confused for a moment. So how much of your - uh - sister...?, is left?"

"Well, I don't really know. I mean, I don't even know her - him - that well. My real brother I mean. Since we were separated at birth by the aliens and everything..."

3:11 PM

"I did what you said Doc... I wrote down my dreams."

"And did that give you any insights?"

"No. I still think it's all because of the gnomes."

"...You can't blame the gnomes for everything."

"I don't see why not. Everything was fine until they turned me into a frog."

4:08 PM

"So, you're... shy. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah. Well, you know, I'm, okay with... some people. It's just... every time I try to ask a girl out, I just freeze up completely. It's really humiliating."

"So why do you think that is?"

"I don't know really. I've just always been like that."

"I see. Hmm. Well, have you ever been brainwashed?"

"What? No."

"Oh. Nothing at all along those lines...?"

"No."

"... what about your parents?"

"What about them? We get on great."

"You mean they're... still alive? Both of them?"

"Yes."

"And... they brought you up, themselves? On this planet?"

"Is that a joke?"

"No."

"Yes, of-course they did."

"And what do they do?"

"Um. My dad's a lawyer..."

"Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed..."

"And you've never killed anyone?"

"No!"

"Or been tortured or -"

"No, nothing like that!"

"... so... you're just... shy. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes."

"That's... that's amazing. Fascinating. Let me just look this up..."

"Look, Doctor Simpson..."

"... Samson."

"What?"

"I'm Doctor Samson. Doctor Simpson is on the next floor."

"Oh. Oops."

"...."

4:35 PM

"Marie? Could you type up these notes for me please..."

"Yes Doctor. The decorators called, they won't be able to make it until 8am tomorrow, I'm afraid - but your first appointment isn't until 10, so I thought they'd have enough time...?"

"Yes, that's fine. There's just that chair and that hole in the wall over there today. Perhaps we could just hang a picture over it. And if you could sweep up the plutonium before it gets ground into the carpet...?"

"Of-course."

"Good. Then I suppose we both might as well go home early."

"Do you want me to come back in for your midnight appointment?"

"Lord Vlad? Is that tonight?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Ah. No, no, there's no reason for you to come in."

"Very well. I'll set out the protective equipment before I leave."

"Marie... there really does have to be some trust between a doctor and his patient."

"Trust is all very well, but you'll lose a lot of clients if they can only see you after sundown."

"... fine. But go easy on the garlic please. He smelt it last time, it was very embarrassing. I had to tell him I'd been eating curry... Which reminds me - would you like to join me for a bite of dinner?"

"Oh, I can't Doctor, thank you all the same. I've got a date. That nice young man who went up to see Doctor Simpson asked me out when he came back down."

"Amazing... that Doctor Simpson's a miracle worker, he really is... Well. Perhaps another night."

"Yes Doctor. That would be nice."

"Good. I... suppose I'll get going then... Goodnight Marie."

"Goodnight Doctor."

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